You're my little dorito
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
