maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
