I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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