I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
