If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
