She's JV to your varsity
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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