So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
