return my video game
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
