She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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