I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
