my sisters under your porch take her home
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
