my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
