If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
