Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
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i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
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I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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