Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
