Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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