The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
