i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize