My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Your penis caused this!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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