Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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