If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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