Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
