covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
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i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
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Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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