I wish my penis had an off switch
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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