It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
