there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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