I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
