508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
