is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
