You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
