Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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