she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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