yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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