I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
