so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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