Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We're not piercing ourselves today.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
