You were right. It hurts to walk today.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
