I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
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You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom