i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....