She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize