dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Of course I have a pirate flag
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
