I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
