the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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