Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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