It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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