i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
