I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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