one two three fourrrrnication!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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