You smell like a Billy Joel song
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
