but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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