Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
