it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
