ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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