the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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