So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
