Betty ford says i'm here all night
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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