I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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