Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
