Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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