At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
